are you a silent star
a lovely belle
or a godess
early rise..
perfect day..
blue sky..
bright sun..
and i am standing still.
i could sing..
i could dance..
i could paint..
i could draw..
yet i am standing still.
it is raining..
im outside..
i saw you leave..
and all i did was stand still.
The art of losing isn't hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster. Lose something every day. Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent. The art of losing isn't hard to master. Then practice losing farther, losing faster: places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel. None of these will bring disaster. I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or next-to-last, of three loved houses went. The art of losing isn't hard to master. I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster, some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent. I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster. --Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
it was bumpy year,
lots of drama in my life for sure,
it started off with the year in school,
make that final.
then exams,
make that SPM~!!!.
before that i had trials,
oh damn results,
wasnt the finest.
then came drama in class and friends,
oh what drama,
1st with classmates and cooperation.
not forgetting so called best friend who had so much things against me,
didnt realise i was so bona fide,
ok not bona fide,
\well more to overshadowing her,
oh yeah is it wrong to be the best in evrything?.
so in the end decided not to talk to her anymore,
i am indeed happier now.
then it came with people,
oh camp was good,
met great people there,
not forgetting my teams..
black pearl and ofcourse recently awfully awesome!!!
then it was non stop travelling,
home to johor,back home,
then to singapore,
then melaka,
finally home sweet sweet home,
oh bed, blankie. 
todaY as in the last day of the year,
will b fun fun fun,
water baloons,food,cake,
uncle and cousins b’day,
oh yes and nephew which is currently pulling me.
new year resolutions..
hehehe after the party.. 
cheers for 2008
without you im like the empty bells,
my eyes search for you every night,
my heart is restless for your love,
my ears is aching to hear your voice.
even the world seems dark and dull,
you took away my brightness,
when u decided to walk out,
you left me in despair.
diamond cut tears flowing down my cheeck,
my skin yearns for your touch,
the darkness filles up my loneliness,
solitude is my company,
im drowning in sorrow..
save me as you are my saviour.
Take me somewhere without telling me
Where you smile, thats where my destination is
I’ve just tasted the sweet feeling of love
a lump of sugar, has become my life,my shore is where your arms are.
come down the road of the heart like small raindrops
my dreams will be soaked
The verse that you hum, that is my tune
blood has stirred to do something
blood has stirred to walk down the glass of the eyes
dripping from the body, enveloping the earth
rising from the streets and the paths
blood has stirred to fill new colors
With an open wound, with a large complaint, slowly, slowly
the finger of questions, a fist of answers
with all of this the blood goes.
i saw her in the middle of the crowd..
she looked dazed..
i approached her as something in me said she needed help.
i asked her "miss are you OK?"
she said "i am lost..i see so many roads..i can’t seem to choose one"
i did ask myself what on earth was she looking at..is she mentally ill or something..there was no road..it was just a hall filled with people..the only road was the door which functioned as the way in and out of the hall.
again i asked "are you sure you see roads because i don’t."
she replied "of course!! can’t you see it..i feel lost and lonely. what do i do? where do i go from here?"
all i could do is just sympathize her.She looked extremely helpless..i decided to pull her one side and did my best to comfort her. for a moment she looked like a child whom has lost her parents.
she said " I’m feeling so low,so ugly,so wretched..sometimes i wonder what am i doing on this planet, am i here for a purpose? all life gave me was blissful pain, i am a laughing stalk to society. I’m unseen and unheard. oh what do i do to make this empty feeling vanish?”
she looked directly into my eyes. i couldn’t say a word at that moment,i was pretty astonished with what she told me.
a moment later i said "life is such..we have to go through up’s and down’s..life is filled with anger,animosity,pain yet it is filled with sweetness,grace and bliss. everyone has a purpose in life..we design our destiny, we choose our path."
she looked at me and all she could do was tear. little that i realize i could feel her pain so deeply.
i did not have all day to sit with her. i did my best to comfort her at the same time i had to leave. i looked at her and gave her a hug for the first and the last time. before i left i told her " learn to love yourself first, nothing in this world is more important than to learn to love yourself and search your true self. once you have done the burden you feel on your shoulder will lighten and you can clearly see the path that you ought to choose."
i stood up and turned towards the exit..she grabbed my hands and said " i want to show you something."
she brought me to a mirror..i saw me.. then i realized all this while i have been consoling myself…….. i am she.
when you are not with me…
it feels like the heavens left me,
it feels like the sun in my life walked out on me.
when you are not with me…
each day feels lamentable,
the darkness is maddening,opaque and dense.
when you are not with me…
my eyes seacrh for those captivating eyes..
my ears ache to hear the sound of voice,
my skin longs for your touch.
when you are not with me…
i become capricious,
solitude is the only companian i have.
when you are not with me…
my life stands still,
my heart beat..constantly fading..
like my black renegade kohl streams down my face.
it was raining,and every1 was cleaning up the house,and i was in my room clearing my messy room now all prim and proper..yay goal accomplished.
i found my box filled with notes..i was reading from my team mates during akltg in s’pore..and kelvin’s. you are important in mylife my leng chai as u inspire me to change myself..love u.
kaanch eheheh we miss amin lots..
and the rest hope to hear from u.
and recently my participants notes..miss them they were gd..
and how not to forget the siow bunch of us coaches at akltg.
lina my syg so as anisa..heart heart you guys..
roger im still your leng lui secretary in akltg..
mark siow…eheehe..siow im influenced by it as well..
kak aisyah..weak yet stronger than any of us..salute you sister..
and participants..kah jun..i heard you are getting naughty..
thomas..ehehehhe..seductive seems dangerous..still heart heart u and MATAHARI!!!…
and asyraf..you will be fine..
just to sit and think of it..small notes brings back fond memories..
for every disease,
there is a cure.
to every extent,
love itself is pure.
every moment,
is precious.
in a crime of unrequited love,
there is no law.
for love is incomplete,
when given not received.
if love is a crime,
then where is the law.
if love is bliss,
where is the eternal smile.
where is the law for a broken heart…
as there is no law when it comes to love,
pure,
sweet,
bliss..
yet..
painful,
bitter,
torturous..
and we still search for the blissfull pain.
